I vant to suck yor blud!

Word of advice: Don't workout right before you donate blood.

We had a blood donation organization come to our church on Saturday, and I volunteered.

First, they rummaged around with a big fat needle inside my arm, trying to find a vein. The girl apologized and told me I would have a huge bruise. I told her no big deal, I bruise easily anyways, and it was for a good cause. She told me my attitude was refreshing, that most people complained. (yay me! but really? People complain?)

Finally found a vein. My blood got up to 234 cc's and then it stopped flowing. They had to get 600 cc's. So then a guy comes over and starts moving the needle around AGAIN while its still in my arm. OUCH. He moves my wrist around and my arm, trying to get the blood a-flowin again. They ask me if I drank a lot of water. "Yes", I say, "because I worked out before I came." They look at each other with knowing glances. "Oh," they say. "Don't do that next time. Your totally dehydrated, PLUS, you have teeny tiny veins."

The blood starts flowin again. My hand starts to go numb. I have to squeeze a little tube every 3-5 seconds to prevent blood clots. Meanwhile, the blood people (nurses?) entertain me with their close comrade-re, teasing each other and such. And we have a good laugh at the only male nurse because he forgot his lab coat and had to cut the legs off of a pair of disposable scrubs and tape them on his shirt for sleeves.

After one HOUR, I'm afraid I'll never feel my hand again. They've been packing up to go home for the past 25 minutes. Oh well, they say, that's all we're going to get. They managed to squeeze only 375 cc's out of me. I asked if they could still use it to help someone that is sick. "No, we need 600 cc's for that. We can send it to forensics for lab testing, though. And it's clotted."

I apologized over and over. They were so nice, told me not to apologize and they were grateful that I was such a good sport.

They have me sit down for 15 minutes and eat some sugary snacks so I won't pass out later. They send me home with an ice pack for my poor little arm. As I'm recounting my story to Tom, he tells me to stop, he can't handle it, he is getting queasy. psh.

Later that night, a raised, purple bruise begins to form just where the needle was. Tom shudders and says, "Man, they mauled you!"

Little did I know, that bruise would spread from that small spot to two inches. And MAN is it sore.

"I bet you won't do that again, huh?" says Tom.

"Oh, I have an appointment to do it again October. I'll get it right next time!"

Tom looks at me like I'm crazy.

Hey, its for a good cause.

the latest reads

I've read some really good books lately, and I'd like to share them with YOU. Yes, you.

The first I found in the young adult section at the library. It's right by the choo choo trains where Mae loves to play, so I usually grab a book and read while she's ruling the tracks. I liked the first chapter so much I decided to take it home.

It's about a girl that lives in an asylum, which is what they called orphanages back in the day. She is adopted by three elderly ladies, all sisters. She is hidden and no one is supposed to see her, due to the family business. Now their business is an intriguing part of the book, very interesting. I really liked this book, as it was like nothing I'd ever read. It's a quick and easy read. (No, I'm not going to tell you what their business is, you'll just have to read it yourself).
The second book, I also found while Mae was playing with the trains. I love books about animals, human anatomy, science, etc. But I love the youth versions because they're at my level of learning and understanding, and they always make them fun to read. So I picked this up thinking, "Cool! I wanna see what's in my noggin!" and I have to admit, the cover of the book was one of the main factors of me picking it up. (Am I crazy if I won't pay one bit of attention to a book if the cover sucks? Even if someone tells me a book is good and the cover isn't artistically pleasing, I have a hard time reading it.)

Anyways, to my surprise, this book is not filled with facts at all. It's by an old scientist woman and her husband (well, supposedly) who just make stuff up. It's HILARIOUS. I was laughing out loud and reading parts of it to Tom. I could give you a for instance, but you just have to pick it up yourself. It's filled with really cool vintage art and just silly "facts" that an old, senile couple would come up with. Do yourself a favor and grab one. Your kids will love it, and so will you! I can't wait to check out the rest of the series.

Last but not least, is the biography of my favorite comedian of all times: Chris Farley. I saw this at Costco and sent it to my bro for "Uncles day" aka, Fathers Day. I was really tempted to read it first, but I thought it would be super lame to read someone's present before they got to. My brother stayed up late reading it and texted me at about 2 in the morning telling me how amazing it was. I couldn't wait for him to send it to me so I picked it up at the library, and its one I'll probably add to our library one day.

I'm going to try and keep this short, because I could say a lot about this book.

For starters anyone that knows me, even a little bit, knows that I love laughing, and I love making other people laugh. I do like being the center of attention, but it's not a "look at me!" kind of attention I like. Its that having someone laugh at something you say or do never gets old. There is no feeling like it. Its addicting, and I love that I'm making someone happy, even just for a second. I'm drawn to people who are funny, and comedies are my favorite genre of movies. I LOVE TO LAUGH. (that song should be my theme song)

Anyways, since I discovered Chris Farley back in the day, I have just loved him. Everything he does makes me laugh. His mannerisms, his voice, his hair. He's just FUNNY, even when he's not trying to be. And I totally had a crush on him. Seriously. He's a good looking guy, and well, he's HYSTERICAL. The following two clips are just so cute. He's so nervous!

tryin

The book is set up in a really interesting way, in interview style. So it's not authored by one person, it's people that were in his life, family, friends, co-workers, etc. telling their experiences and thoughts about Chris.

As you know, Chris Farley died of a drug overdose, so remember that when you read the book. Also, keep in mind that the people who shared their experiences don't think anything of the F word, so it's in the book here and there. It's a really sad book, but so incredible. He was an amazing person, no matter what mistakes he made, he really wanted so badly to be a good person, and most of all, to just make people laugh. The story of his addictions, faith, dreams and struggles is heart wrenching. He has this innocent little boy quality about him that just makes you want to take care of him. Like you want to make excuses for him, like he just didn't know any better. I loved reading the funny stories about extremes he went to to make people laugh.

It was one of those books that after it was done, I didn't want it to be over. I cried and laughed throughout the entire book. And then for the next couple of days I youtubed everything I could find on him. I'm excited to meet him in the afterlife.

I love biographies, I have decided they are my favorite kind of book. I love reading about other peoples experiences, being a part of their story, and most of all, because putting myself in others shoes really puts things in perspective. It makes me less likely to judge people. Everyone on this planet is a child of God, whether they act like it or not, and that makes me care about what others have gone through. Biographies have brought the most emotion out of me than any other book.

On to less serious subjects:

As you can see from my header, I am doing a blog makeover. I am going to be making it into my official website with links to my photography, art, and maybe some music. I'm excited! So stay TUNED.

are ya KIDDIN me?!

Normally, I can always count on Walmarts brand to be good quality. Biggest bang for my buck. So as I went to make some delicious greens for dinner, I chose these:

And what I got was this:

Thanks for the "broccoli". I'm really glad we'll be gnawing on nothing but stalks.

I'm disappointed in you, Walmart. Truly, I am.

I hope you'll think about what you've done, go back to the drawing board, and try again.

Oh, and by the way? I want my $2 back.

cheeeese!

you're jealous...

of my do

invites

just some lil invites I illustrated/designed for a baby shower

a good laugh

the best part is where the black dude stands up and says,"But you can always fall back on basketball, right Troy?" The way he says "Right, Troy?!" is hilarious!

luv note

awaiting me in my inbox today:

Dearest MJ,

May this epistle find you luxuriating in the spa of endless awesomeness. I hope your travels through Tuesday treat you like the good Sir Wesley treated Buttercup. Thank you for being a blend of riotous laughter and ravishing beauty. You fill my life with giggling merriment and bedazzling jaw droppage. I am jealous of Mae Mae becuase she get to spend the day with you, and you feed her a bottle of chocolate milk while she watches a cinematic spectacle on the couch.

Forsooth, like a painter in the throws of creative impotence I was floundering to find motivation and methods to bolsterize the proficiency with which PetSmart provides sustanance and nutrition to our brothers and sisters of the Animal Kingdom. But alas, as I muse upon my muse, the Angel of Sweet Sugary Decidance, the very Melissa, I am inspired to work with fervor, intensity and a rage not seen since the Dread Pirate Roberts defeated the Seven Seas in a match of Red Rover Red Rover Send (insert name) Right Over.

Godspeed, my Princess; I bid they farewell,

The Dread Pirate Thomas

do i have the coolest husband? i think so!

i heart faces: bubbles

this weeks photography challenge: bubbles

check out i heart faces

thas RIGHT

for FHE tonight, we decided to draw some pictures. Here is mine:

::keep fighting like HELL, mom::

yes, the cancer has increased. again.

yes, we would love it if you kept her in your prayers.

yes, she is a fighter.

{we love you, mom}

among so many thorns there is a rose

One of the most inspiring women I have ever come across.

She makes me want to be a better person, to be more grateful and complain less.

I don't know her, but I love her.

nienie

raindrops keep fallin on my head

It's been a hot summer. HOT.

I miss Utah summers, they are absolutely perfect. Gimme THAT weather year round, and I'll move back.

Supposedly August is supposed to be monsoon season here in AZ.

I've been praying for rain. I just need a break from sweating 24/7. (I cleaned my car out the other day and my clothes were SOAKED in sweat. Literally. Like I'd jumped into a pool)

Last night I was trying to put Mae in bed when her entire room lit up from a flash of lightning outside.

So we decided to go outside (in the sweltering heat. Nighttime doesn't even bring us relief!) and of course, I had to grab my camera. The lightning was so sporadic and quick that I literally had to just sit there with the consecutive shot setting on and click click click away, hoping to get at least one shot. Out of the 600 pictures I took (!!!!) I got about 3 that were really worth keeping. YEESHKABOO

Anyways, we waited and waited for the storm to make its way over to us, but alas, we grew tired and eventually climbed into our leetle beds.

we heart Kawika

the other day our friend Kawika (W pronounced like a V) came to play. He has to be one of the cutest little guys on the planet. They had a blast. Oh, so did I! I joined in on the fun too.

Jumping on my clean laundry. I don't mind.

handsome little bugger!

We started our own band "Two 2 Year Olds and an Old Lady"

OH. MY.

Some goodies I discovered:

Strange/Humorous

Crappy Taxidermy- Dead animals at their finest

Craftastrophe-Some people just weren't meant to create. Put the glue down, and no one gets hurt.

Artsy and Random

Petit Collage- I would like one of each, please

FFFFOUND!-the name says it all

Marc Johns-post it note art= totally tubular

That's all, folks!