Stories From My Past - "A Fart and a Fiance"

Tom proposed to me 8 months after dating. The entire time we were dating, he kept asking me to fart in front of him. I wouldn't do it. Let it be known, that I grew up in a house where everyone (except my mom) thought bodily functions were the cats pajamas. But I really liked this guy, and I sure as heck didn't want to toot in front of him. I kept waiting for just the right moment. Is there a "right" moment to pass gas in front of such a hottie? Well, when he proposed it was really romantic. He told me we were going to some dance at his school, so I got one of my fancy pants dresses out and gussied up. To my surprise we drove up to his dads office. We went inside to a large meeting room, where he had gone to a lot of work. Rose petals, candles, a fancy dinner. It was awesome. I had a tiny inkling that I knew what was going on, but it was the day before my birthday so I figured it was probably for that. His best friend, Josh Egan, and his then girlfriend, were our waiters. Josh even drew a mustache on and talked in a french accent. After eating, Tom put on a CD he had made for me, and we danced to Ben Folds "The Luckiest". Then he got down on one knee and proposed. I started crying, he started crying, and it was magical. Good times had by all, ya'll. Later, after our "waiters" had gone, Tom and were embracing and staring into each others eyes and just basking in the moment. Then it happened. Without my approval, a small poof of gas escaped my being. At first I was relieved that it wasn't loud. And then....I smelled it. It was bad. I prayed Tom wouldn't notice. All of a sudden, Toms eyes lit up. His mouth grew into the biggest grin I've seen on him to this day. He stooped down, gazed into my eyes and whispered excitedly,"Did you just FART?!" "No! I, well....yes." I felt so sheepish. Out of all the nights for me to show him this side of me! Tom grabbed me in a huge bearhug and exclaimed,"I'm so proud of you! It smells so bad!" And that, my friends, is when I knew for sure, I had found my soulmate.