1/20/12

Horace

A couple of years back, my little sister started a blog for my family where one of us would come up with a sentence, and then everyone else had to write a story implementing the sentence.

The sentence was,"With one final glance over his shoulder, Horace turned the corner and vowed to never walk down this street again."

Here is my story:

"Hey! Stop moving my kidney beans!" yelled Horace.
They were at it again. Those stupid kids at school always took his plate of kidney beans and hid them in the cafeteria while he wasn't looking. He hated being the new kid.
"Why I oughta!" he said, while shaking his fist. Their was an uproar of laughter as a plate of kidney beans went flying through the air, straight into Horace's face. The bell rang, and people began to file out of the cafeteria, high fiving and laughing.
Horace stared Aubrey-style for a good minute while kidney beans dripped down his cheeks. He sighed and plucked one from his nostril.
"My life sucks,"he grumbled to himself. He gathered his things and walked to the bathroom to clean up. 

Later, as he was walking home from school, he decided to explore his new neighborhood and go a different way. He turned down an unfamiliar road. It was called Achoo St. As he walked along he noticed something moving in a shrubbery. It looked like whatever was in there was stuck.
"Stupid cat" he thought as he walked over to the bush.
He parted the branches and peered in, trying to see what it was. He jumped back in surprise as a small figure bolted out and ran straight into his legs. The creature fell flat on his back and stared up at Horace. It was what looked like to be a gnome.
"Do you have any lemon meringue pie?" he asked.
"Um...er..what?" Horace stammered.
"LEMON-MERINGUE-PIE" the little man enunciated, his fingers held up in the shape of a slice of pie.
Horace stared. The gnome stared.
"Gah!" huffed the gnome as he slouched away, frustrated.
"Wait!" called Horace.
The gnome turned around, waiting.
"So...who are you? And why do you want...pie?"
"Psh. For the same reason ANYONE wants pie. I'm hungry and I'm in the mood for something sweet."
"Oh..well, who are you?"
"Shiggle-be-doodles. I'm from the land of Larbenstein"
"Where's that...uh...Kibble-Me-Noodles?"
"It's SHIGGLE-BE-DOODLES. sheesh! And I don't know. I'm lost. I was cleaning my kitchen cupboard in hopes to find a spare piece of pie, when I slipped and fell out my window. Instead of landing on the ground, I just went right through it and landed in that bush."
"You fell through the ground?"
"Yes! That's right! THROUGH THE GROUND. I don't understand why you aren't getting any of this." he turned away and headed across the street, huffing and puffing.
"WAIT! Where are you going?" Horace called after him. He jogged across the street and fell in stride next to the leetle gnome.
"AH, what do you care?! I just need to get home!" cried Shiggle-Be-Doodles, waggling his finger in the air.
"Let me help. I know this neighborhood like the back of my head." said Horace.
"Well THAT'S not very helpful, is it?"snorted Shiggle-Be-Doodles.
They fell into an awkward silence, the gnomes shoes squeaking with every other step. 
"My name is Horace..."he told the little man,"um...I like kidney beans. I play the recorder...and the kids at school are mean to me."
Shiggle-Be-Doodles stopped abruptly and stared up at Horace. He looked so upset it was almost comical. Tears started to roll down his chubby cheeks and he sniffled. 
"Really? Where I come from, people don't treat me all that well either. They make fun of me because I'm so passionate about my snail farm. They just don't get it. Snails are very intelligent creatures, you know."
Just then a rumbling like thunder filled the air, and the ground shook under their feet. 
"Earthquake!" panicked Horace. He ran in circles looking for a something to take cover under. The rumbling got closer and closer, and Shiggle-Be-Doodles was screaming like a girl and was looking in horror at something in the distance. Horace turned to see what it was, and saw the source of the noise. It was a walrus, running full speed at them! The walrus was no ordinary walrus. It was as big as a house! 
Horace put his arms up as if this would protect him from getting squashed by a gigantic, galloping tusked monster. As he waited for the pain, he realized it was quiet. So quiet. He cautiously looked out between his fingers and saw the walrus standing above him, staring down. Shiggle-Be-Doodles was frozen in place, eyes wide with horror. And then he began to scream like a girl again. Just looking up and screaming. Like a girl. The walrus looked incredibly annoyed and finally smacked Shiggle-Be-Doodles with his large flipper. The gnome went flying into the air and grew smaller, smaller and smaller until he was just a tiny dot in the distance, his scream getting quieter and finally dying out.
Trembling, Horace looked up at the walrus. The walrus looked down at Horace. And then he said in a big booming voice,"Kneecaps are desperately needed. May you always have a cheese stick to nibble" and with that, he shot into the sky like a rocket and disappeared among the clouds. 
"WHAT the?!..." Horace was speechless. He looked around, puzzled. Did anyone else see that? The street was empty. As he looked around, he realized that this was no ordinary looking street. All of the houses were slowly spinning in circles. It was so slow that you only noticed it if you really looked closely. In place of sidewalks, there were glass panels. He peered down into one and saw another face staring up at him. 
"AGGGHHHHH!" Horace screamed, jumping back. He peered over again and realized it was his own reflection. But his reflection was doing its own thing. It was dancing around in a purple leotard and green leg warmers. It leapt and twirled and flipped. 
Horace was totally disturbed by the scene and started to run away. All of a sudden kidney beans started pelting him in the face and the street turned into sticky taffy. He tried as hard as he could to run but was stuck, kidney beans smacking every inch of his body. 
"HELP ME!" he screamed to no one in particular.
A swarm of flies came streaking towards him, and appeared to have little squirt guns. As they passed by the sprayed him in the face with something wet and stinky. 
Just then, from above, he heard a familiar girlish scream. Shiggle-Be-Doodles was finally making his way back down to the ground. SMACK! He landed on top of Horace. 
He jumped up and reached down to his shoes. Little propellors popped out, and he grabbed Horace by the ears, lifting him into the air. It hurt like the dickens, but he was happy to be anywhere else. "Fwip fwip fwip" went the little shoe propellors. 
"So long my friend! Don't give the laundry to the flamingoes!" yelled Shiggle-Be-Doodle as he dropped Horace on the end of the street. 
Horace jumped up, shook his head as if this would make it all go away, and then bolted away from Achoo St. With one final glance over his shoulder, Horace turned the corner and vowed to never walk down this street again.
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