why my life isn't boring

mae says the funniest things on a daily basis. most of the time i can't possibly give it justice when i retell the story because it depends on so many things. her facial expression, her tone of voice, the mispronunciation (did i spell that right?) of words that i can't bring myself to correct, cause its just too adorable.

but SOME i can share because they are just that good.

because of disgusting human beings that lurk the web, i can't tell this story without a bit of editing. so when i type  "V" lets just assume this is code for the female body part that starts with said letter. WAIT! Don't leave, its actually really funny! I promise.

in the bath the other day mae was stirring water around in her bucket and i asked her what she was making.
"'V'" soup!"
I stared at her in shock, mouth hanging open, then i burst out laughing.
"You're making WHAT?!"
"I'm making 'V' soup for my little sister!"
I could not believe my ears. Well, come to find out, she meant VEGETABLE soup.

good gracious!

this one is not about mae, but a friends son. he told me that he had a "polish breast" at home. I was like,"huh? A polish breast?"
All these crazy ideas are running through my mind, like, did they own some kind of fancy breast pump from Poland? Was a Polish Breast some kind of foreign dish, like chicken breasts with tomato nipples?
"What's a polish breast?"
"Its like a choo choo train!"
I sat there thinking for a minute. Then it hit me. POLAR EXPRESS. He had the movie "Polar Express" at home.

(do you like how i used proper punctuation and then not so much randomly throughout the post?)
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