6/20/09

todays how-to

Yawns can be really boring. So I like to spice mine up. I don't have to do much, since my mouth is huge and when I yawn it's like my jaw unhinges and I swallow space and time.

I don't know about you, but I always have to make a sound when I yawn. I had a boss that would get so mad at me for doing this (plus, I didn't cover my mouth) and she acted like I was punching her grandma in the face. She was so personally offended by my "bad manners". I was like, "Listen lady, your job isn't to attack my yawning habits. So back off." My last day on the job I should've walked into her office, stood on her desk, and with my arm raised like a Shakespearean actor, and with great gusto, unleashed the biggest yawn I could've mustered.

ANYWAYS.....lets not go off on any more tangents....

Here are some things I like to do to make a yawn something worth looking forward to:
-add some vibrato to the end. The more operatic  the better
-smack your lips at the end like you just ate some yummy pie. Like this "aaaaaahhhhhhhhh...num num num"
-my personal favorite is to throw in a chewbacca noise at the end. It always catches people by surprise
-yawning takes your mouth to its very limits, so while your mouth is stretched as far as it possibly can go, take it a step further and widen your eyes and flare your nostrils. Maybe even add a little shaking so it looks like it's almost painful to get out.
-on the exhale part of the yawn, the "ahhhhh" part, just scream bloody murder.
-inhale: raise both arms above your head while wiggling fingers  exhale: lower back down. bow.

Do you have any more ways to make a yawn more fulfilling?
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